|The Declarer (Floyd McWilliams' Blog)|
Sunday, November 09, 2003
Fisk a Mercury News editorial!
It's time for a newspaper to inveigh against free speech.
Lethal when misused. And hardly illegal; teens can drink at home under their parents' supervision.
(Did you think it was remarkable that a Merc editorial displays factual ignorance in the first sentence? It's not.)
As a result of this study, children will be prohibited from watching adult television. All dramas, comedies, news, and sporting events will be rated NC-17.
Georgetown University found out that adults are more responsible than teenagers. Learn the names of these researchers now so that you can make intelligent conversation when the Nobel Prizes are handed out.
Scary Movie 3 will be retroactively rated XXX. All teenagers who saw it will brainwashed into the belief that the Coors twins died in the movie due to cirrhosis of the liver. Also, all models who appear in beer commercials will be prohibited from appearing in movies. They will be kept in special underground chambers away from the public eye. Otherwise a child might see them!
Their guards will be childless, and sterilized.
(Did you think it was remarkable that Mercury News editorialists treated Scary Movie 3 seriously, as if it was some kind of cult recruiting propaganda penned by L. Ron Hubbard? It's not. To be a Merc opinion writer, it is necessary to lack perspective -- the world must look to you a Picasso painting.)
The alcohol industry does not "police itself". It attempts to persuade consumers to buy its products. Does the Mercury News "police itself" when it decides not to publish sexually explicit or graphically violent photographs?
(Did you think it was remarkable that the Merc -- which would shriek like a wounded eagle if the state or federal government attempted to censor it -- so enthusiastically calls for the censorship of law-abiding manufacturers? It's not. I would call these people hypocrites, but I wonder if they have the intelligence or perspective to see that what's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.)
Publication of Das Kapital and Mein Kampf were linked to fifty million murders and as many assaults. We must do something about publishers!
Let's devote the entire federal budget to convince teenagers not to be inexperienced and foolish.