The Declarer (Floyd McWilliams' Blog)

Monday, January 19, 2004

Alex Heard coined the term "hathos": "that strange sensation produced by exposure to certain entertainers - a mixture of hatred, disgust, embarrassment, and pathos. Sometimes, if the performer is sufficiently schlocko or self-congratulatory, this feeling intensifies to a point at which, suddenly ... it becomes highly pleasurable." You can engage in a little hathos right now if you desire. Ladies and Gentlemen, by the grace of Jeff Jarvis, I bring you comedienne Margaret Cho's blog:

I think there is a shitstorm brewing, and it kind of went my way a bit, but I was in the studio recording my new record, so I missed the downpour.

What I can see is that there are really stupid people in this country and then when you point out how stupid they are, they get fucking mad as fuck. But since they so dumb, they can only start saying things about me being fat, or Chinese, which is cool, but I don't really think that I am either of those things. I would love to go back to my country, but I am already in my country, so how can I go back? I will try, but it is hard to be in two places at one time, especially when the two places are actually one place. It is all good. Everyone needs to have their ignant opinion about shit.

If you think I am a pig, then enjoy that. Think of me when you want to fry up some bacon, carve a honey baked ham - try a ring of pineapple. delicious!!! Carpe diem. You got one life to live and Ryan's Hope and All My Children. If telling me that I am a slanty eyed hole makes you smile, then I hope that you have a super day.

If you say to me that I am an ugly, fat whore, God bless you. I love that you are doing what you want with your little, itty, bitty, teeny, tiny life. I embrace you with my fat whore arms, but don't forget, I want my money up front. I am looking at you lovingly with my chinky eyes.

If you actually believe I am stupid, well, surprise! I am even dumber than you will ever know, so take some satisfaction in that, because you really know how to party because you are super smart. You are so smart you think that this blog is about you.

Whatever is said about me, I know that it is true, wonderful and I love it because you know what? I am being talked about. Thought about. Brought about. I am all about. I love you with all of my heart.

I am sorry I can't write so much today. Like I said, I am in the studio. I am an artist and shit. My new rhymes are chewing up the scenery just like Bubblicious, I don't restrain, can't complain because I am that delicious. I am laying down tracks for my new album with my posse. I live the dream of free speech, beautiful home and my thug family. My job is to tell the truth, and that is what I get to do every day in different and varied ways.

But the truth hurts the dumb, and it isn't my fault, but some are trying to get to me by using their unrelated, unimpressive insults. What they don't realize is that I am untouchable, because I have been hurt so much in my life, nothing hurts me anymore. I have been so rejected that I have come to expect it. I have learned to love that which is meant to harm me, so that I can stand in the way of those who are less strong. I can take the bullets for those who aren't able to. I am a warrior, hard as fuck. None of the hate directed at the honesty I am all about impressed me. They all need to take some lessons in pain and suffering. I thought that their attempts were adorable and I just love them all the more. It is so cute when racist, stoooooopid, right wing windbag cowards try to diss. They don't know shit.

I want to hug them all.

Actually I lied. Cho's blogging isn't a good subject for hathos; every single post is just as long-winded and interminible as the one I quoted. Margarent Cho's blog is what you would get if you crossed Steven Den Beste with Mark Morford.



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