Boy, the San Jose Mercury News really served up a devastating one-two combination of incisive wit today. Here's the teaser for the top article
on the Merc web page
Governor confronts new crisis, no script
PRISON MESS TESTS FLEXIBLE RESPONSE
In his first two months in office, Arnold Schwarzenegger has pretty much followed the script he and his advisers laid out after his election. But with a long-simmering crisis in the nation's largest prison system coming to a boil, the new governor and his administration are now suddenly forced to ad lib.
By Mark Gladstone / Mercury News Sacramento Bureau
Get it? Schwarzenegger is an actor
who likes to follow a script
, but he can't so he'll have to ad lib
If you're still reeling from that masterful demonstration of rhetoric, you may want to hold onto your seat when you read the opening lines of this editorial
Big biceps aren't always enough
GOVERNOR FACES HEAVY ISSUES THAT HE NEEDS HELP IN LIFTING
Let's hope Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger is having a good time on the campaign trail drumming up support for his $15 billion bond issue, because otherwise the past week was a lesson about the difficult customers who walk through a governor's door and the limits on his ability to rid himself of them.
( By Phil Yost, 01/25/2004 03:01 AM PST)
Get it? Schwarzenegger is a bodybuilder with big biceps
, but he can't always use them to solve the issues he faces as governor.
Either the Mercury News is populated with writers who think this nonsense is clever, or they know better but think it will appeal to their readers. Either the newspaper of the world's center of technology is staffed by some very dim bulbs, or said newspaper's employees think that Silicon Valley is filled with morons.
Please please tell me that just one person who was involved with the production of this drivel slapped himself on the forehead and muttered, "I went to journalism school for this
And is the Merc consistent with its use of this junior-high-school-level cliche-mongering? If Grey Davis were still governor, would we expect to see copy like this:
Governor confronts crisis lacking know-how
WORKERS' COMP MESS TESTS ECONOMIC KNOWLEDGE
A long-simmering crisis in the workers' compensation system is coming to a boil. This will be a difficult problem for Governor Davis, a lifetime politician with little private sector experience.
Being an emotionless drone isn't enough
DIFFICULT ISSUES REQUIRE EMPATHY