The Declarer (Floyd McWilliams' Blog)

Thursday, April 15, 2004

So Rush Limbaugh got into a contract spat with a Chinese owner of a radio station and posted a nasty letter that made fun of his name and threatened violence against him ... no, I'm sorry, this is getting ridiculous. Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you the shining knight riding to the rescue of liberals everywhere, Air America:

After just two weeks on the air, Air America Radio, the fledgling liberal talk-radio network featuring Al Franken, Janeane Garofalo, and that really loud woman from Florida, appears to have encountered serious cash-flow problems.

Stop the presses!!! There’s nothing more exciting than half a story from a third hand source!!!!

Insiders tell SLUDGE, that the reason the network was pulled off the air this morning in Chicago and Los Angeles, the network's second- and third-largest markets, was because, the owner of both stations, Arthur Liu of Multicultural Broadcasting, said, the network bounced a check and owes him more than $1 million! The run-on sentence, tortured grammar and the exclamation point clearly means it’s true!!

Only it isn’t.

Normally we’d let this go because “habitual liars” like Drudge are laughable, and ridicule is our business.

Well ... okay ... but he did quote a Chicago Tribune article. Did the Tribune enter in a conspiracy with Drudge to lie?

But Arthur Liu --- not funny. He lied to us, he ripped us off and now we’re chasing him down with a pipe wrench. It’s a metaphor.

Yeah, and when Liu sues you until your eyeballs bleed, that will be a metaphor too.

Here’s what really happened:

This Liu-ser was ripping off our boss Evan Cohen big time (he can’t do that, that’s our job). Evan found out about it and he stopped payment on a check to keep Liu-cifer from ripping him off even more. You can touch Evan for the occasional meal or drinks but a million bucks is crossing the line. And if we ever get low on cash, we can always call Barbra Streisand. Or any of the
Baldwins. Except Stephen.

So we got screwed, Liu’d, and tattooed. How Liu can you get? In Liu of payment. Liu’d and lascivious behavior. These write themselves. What we’re getting at is that we hate him.

We HATES him Gollum! We will Liuse the Precioussss!!

So now everyone’s saying we’re going down the dumper in Chicago and Los Angeles, but what they don’t tell you is that we’re still on in Portland. And we OWN Portland. And let’s not forget Riverside and Plattsburgh. And New
York. And streaming on the internet. And XM. And Sirius. Actually we’re fine.

So cool your jets. Air America Radio isn’t dead, we’re in court and we’re going to slam Liu’s head in a car door. Another metaphor.

You guys are KILLING me! (Another metaphor.)

There's this concept of libel ... but Drudge knows about it so I suppose you wouldn't care to hear an explanation.

It's amazing to think that there are left-wingers who were happy to have Air America in their corner. Still happy, guys?



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