The Declarer (Floyd McWilliams' Blog)

Thursday, January 13, 2005

I've been meaning to post a nasty little screed about how the talentless hacks of my youth were nowhere near as useless -- or adenoidal -- as the talentless hacks of today.

However ...

AN undercover BBC reporter who infiltrated a London Kabbalah group witnessed Madonna and Guy Ritchie chanting mystic spells to cleanse Chernobyl, the site in Ukraine of the nuclear disaster in 1986.

But Madonna's ever bit the savvy businesswoman as she's hyped to be. She's now cadging cancer patients out of serious jack in exchange for her superfragikabbalistic services:

Donnelly, a recovering cancer patient, says he was charged $1,500 for the dinner with Madonna and her husband, some "healing water" and several Aramaic texts — the Zohar — he was unable to read. He was told that just running his hands over the text and drinking the water could cure his cancer.

The cure, alas, also did not work. He was comforted, however, by the knowledge that, while he still had cancer, it was very unlikely that Shanghai Surprise would be re-released in a "special edition" containing additional CGI stormtroopers and "digital censoring" of Madonna, replacing her in every scene with a five-foot six walkie-talkie in a corset.

I admit that Ms. Stefani has yet to stoop to faith healing.

(h/t: Ace of Spades quoting the New York Post.)


(Oh, and what is it with music writers who do not possess the words "rock" or "pop" in their vocabulary? I quote from a Slate article on the very, very pale diva:

The plan is not to make a nice little solo album before returning to the ska-punk circuit with No Doubt.

Punk is jarring and purposefully incompetent. Punk offends people. Punk has song titles like Jesus Entering from the Rear. Using an accordion does not make a rock band "ska-punk."



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