The Declarer (Floyd McWilliams' Blog)

Saturday, May 07, 2005


Mung Bean Threat

I never have my camera with me when I need it. Yesterday I took my wife, her friend Kathy, and the aforementioned camera to Sam Francisco Airport. Then I drove down 101 to Google. While doing so I found myself staring down the loaded barrel of a Spaten Van! Not a vehicle belonging to a distributor, but a Volkswagen bus that some character had decided to decorate with the Spaten logo. Is there anything that Spaten Van can't do?!

Yesterday after work I drove back up 101 to the airport. I parked, walked up to the America West counter, and discovered that I had reentered the twentieth century. There were no monitors listing America West's arriving and departing flights. Instead, there were black boards with lines of detachable white letters. While I could see where the 3 p.m. flight had deplaned, no one had seen fit to update the flight from Vegas that had just landed.

A ticket clerk told me that the flight was at Gate 26. I was soon to find out that in the twenty-first century, this information was moot. Transportation Secretary Norm Mineta has decreed that anyone who wants to commit terrorist acts in an airport terminal must first buy a ticket, presumably to support the airline industry. So I waited outside the security area.

(In a fit of surpassing idiocy, the city of San Jose named their airport after Mineta.)

It was 8 p.m. and we were hungry, so we drove a few miles to downtown San Bruno for Burmese food at Inya Lake. Like many Asian restaurants, Inya Lake posts special menus on its walls on 8 1/2-by-11 sheets that someone printed off his PC. The menu nearest me included these lines:

MUNG BEAN THREAT
FUGUS BLACK MUSHROOM

I don't know what the Mung Bean Threat is, or what it's got against Fugus, but I'm not going to look over my shoulder. It might be gaining on me.


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