The Declarer (Floyd McWilliams' Blog)

Saturday, December 10, 2005

My nine-year-old nephew is about to arrive on the Internet, so I'd better have fun with mean-spirited obscenities while I can. Thus:

I found via Ace the website for "Why Mommy is a Democrat," which uses cute pictures of squirrels to illustrate the core principles of the Democratic Party. This site is not satire. I quote from the sample pages (you'll have to imagine the syrupy drawings of squirrels):

Democrats make sure we all share our toys, just like Mommy does.

Sorry Warren Beatty, but the Democratic party called and said I could have your yacht this weekend.

Democrats make sure children can go to school, just like Mommy does.

Too bad these schools don't teach one to write sentences with subordinate clauses properly. (Does Mommy share her toys? Go to school?)

Democrats make sure we are always safe, just like Mommmy does.

Mommy must be a Democrat because she has the brains of a rodent.



Yes, that squirell thing is very very stupid. But now the sides are equal. You forget the conservative book "Help!Mom! There are Liberals Under My Bed!" by Katharine DeBrecht. According to its book description on Amazon,
"This full-color illustrated book is a fun way for parents to teach young children the valuable lessons of conservatism. Written in simple text, readers can follow along with Tommy and Lou as they open a lemonade stand to earn money for a swing set. But when liberals start demanding that Tommy and Lou pay half their money in taxes, take down their picture of Jesus, and serve broccoli with every glass of lemonade, the young brothers experience the downside to living in Liberaland."

This is definitly not comedy, but it is pathetic as the squirrels.

By Blogger El Dave, at 9:07 PM  

First of all, el dave, "squirrel" is the spelling of the rodent. Second of all, "Help! Mom! ..." uses metaphors of substance, whereas "Mommy is ..." substitutes slogans for thoughts. Hey, come to think of it, isn't that a close parallel between conservatives and progressives (I know y'all hate to be tarred with the "L-word.")?

By Anonymous Graypriest, at 11:26 PM  

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