The Declarer (Floyd McWilliams' Blog)

Monday, June 14, 2010

Chose Your Own Adventure Tour

More barely comprehensible descriptions of pandas from the Shanghai Zoo.  (Which I copied from; wish I'd known about that site yesterday when I laboriously transcribed Ping Ping's description from a photo.)
The giant panda “An An”, Serial No. 705, male, is the second baby of the twins for the first pair in the world in 2008. He was born at 8:36 in the morning of July 6, 2008, whose weight was 145.5g at birth,
Okay I'm gonna complain about muddled grammar once.  Did July 6, 2008 weigh 145.5 grams at birth?

Yeah, I didn't think so.
at present, he weighs 38kg, and his mother is “Guo Guo”. “An An” has a round face, sharp mouth and big eyes. Because the hair on the mouth is black and white, it is nicknamed as “patterned mouth”. “An An” is a famous “rascal”, its personality complements the personality of his twin sister “Ping Ping”. He is active and funny, and often makes some difficult and classical funny gestures, and he likes carrying a disturbance and fight and play with other companions.
Five hundred years from now some American monkey is going to act like the Three Stooges and the zoo placard will note that he makes "difficult and classical funny gestures."
On Sept 25, 2008, he was adopted by the famous actor Huang Xiaoming.
Jesus Christ, Huang Xiaoming is like the Cruella DeVille of Chinese zoo pandas.
Once, “An An” performed a panda version of “Prison Break” at the kindergarten: when the feeders were sweeping the enclosure, they forgot to lock the gate, then An An grasped the opportunity that the feeders were stuck with others, pushed open the gate secretly and started his own adventure tour, but he was captured by the feeders before he ran out of the gate of the kindergarten, from then on, he was regarded as the key guardianship object.

I can see how this attractive panda would be a ... "key guardianship object".

No wait I lied.  He looks like Artie Lange.




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