The Declarer (Floyd McWilliams' Blog)

Saturday, July 24, 2010


If You Can't Say Something Non-Pathetic, Don't Say Anything At All

Yesterday I was graced with a mass mailing from Delta airlines. It was a slick cardboard folder, a little bigger than a normal envelope, whose outside was designed to look like a red suitcase. This mailing was to inform me of an "exciting new benefit and up to 50,000 bonus miles."

What was the exciting new benefit? Was I going to receive free flights? Upgrades to business or first class? Free meals? A reprieve from airport security theater?

None of the above. Delta is promising

FIRST BAG FREE
for up to nine people in your reservation, every Delta flight

which is wrong in so many ways. This really needs to be limited to nine people? Because I'm going to organize entire planeloads of flights to save everyone their baggage fee? "Hey guys I collected from 297 out of 310 people, I'll buy the tickets when I've received all 120 grand." Not gonna happen.

Basically Delta spent a lot of money on glossy paper and printing and postage to remind me that they are a bunch of cheap bastards who nickel and dime me every chance they get. They charge for meals, they charge for luggage, they inflate away the value of my frequent flier miles. They do this even when it works against their self interest; if for some reason I make flight arrangements for 10 or 12 or 15 people, shouldn't Delta be happy about that?


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